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I am about to tell you about the duck reproductive system. You will be surprised at how people respond to this information. Many are fascinated, others will accuse you of making it up. Yet, I have entertained at many dinner parties with my knowledge, and now so can you.
For those of you of a delicate nature, I will be using terms that your sensitive nature may be jolted. Please quit reading this blog if you find the words, reproduction, penis or vagina offensive.

I was at a dinner party and we were discussing my ducks and chickens. I have a drake (male duck) to several hens (female Duck). Honestly, I just call my drake, horny bastard, and the hens, my girls.

The topic was why drakes in the wild or local ponds are so aggressive. That is true. Drakes are always ready to bum-chicha-boom-boom. Unwanted advances to the hen will not always turn into baby ducklings in 28 days. A hen can choose or lessen the chance of her eggs being fertilized by an unwanted suitor.

Mother Nature, not one to fool with, has given the female duck power. Warning! If you are faint of heart this is where you may want to leave this blog.

The drake (male duck) penis is shaped like a corkscrew. A hen (female duck) has a vagina shaped like a corkscrew. When mating occurs, the hen can contract her vagina to help the sperm reach its destination or not. By not contracting vagina the by the female the unsuitable suitor’s sperm run into several walls lessen the chance of fertilization.

Now if you don’t believe a duck’s penis of a corkscrew shape, as one gentleman loudly accused me of lying, I have provided a link.

How do ducks have sex with their corkscrew-shaped penises? | Metro News You may have to push the Ctrl and click for the link.

A few months back, Milton, aka Horny Bastard, was not romancing my girls. He was mugging them in the snow. The female needs to be relaxed during mating, think two glasses of wine relaxed. Milton was just jumping on them as I was filling their winter pool. There is less chance of injury to hens if mating occurs in water too. Yet it is still horrifying to an onlooker as the drake pushes the hen head down into the water. But let’s get back to that winter day.

I saw Milton mount one of the girls on the frozen ground. Her legs were being pushed in an awkward position, I feared Milton’s action would break her leg. I yelled at Milton to get off her as I poured the last 5-gallon bucket of water into the pool. He noticed the full pool and dismounted. His corkscrew penis was out. It was long as it dragged behind him. It was true that a duck penis can be as long or longer than their bodies. Milton moved. I swear at that moment his penis waved at me.

Nothing says it’s going to be one of those days than having a duck penis wave at you.

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