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I thought I had discovered a new mole the other day on my arm. I screamed when it began to climb its way up my arm. I didn’t scream because my new mole sought a better location. I screamed out of frustration. It was a wood tick, number 1000. I have spent the last two weeks using everything I could find to eliminate or reduce the number of these little blood-sucking vampires.
I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since the arrival of the wood ticks. I usually find them as I am getting ready for bed. Having spent most of the day outdoors working in the yard. I jump awake with every hair that moves or sheets falling. I am sure a killer tick is going to climb in my ear or in my mouth, as I am a snorer.
I also have been battling the other mini vampire, the mosquito. I am allergic, and if I get bitten, I swell up and morph into a lumpy puffy oozy humanoid. It is not a pretty sight. I could star in a B movie, not as a gorgeous heroine, but as the disgusting monster that climbed out of the radioactive swamp.
The swelling and itching irritate me for days.
None of the things I have used in the past has worked. Not even the garlic spray that I have had success with in the past. Yes, these little blood suckers dislike garlic like Count Dracula. Go figure.
To allow myself to be outdoors, I have a fetching outfit. Martha Stewart would make a clothing line if she ever saw it. I wear knee-high socks. No shorts allowed. I wear jeans and stuff them into my Muck boots. Top it off with a long-sleeved, brightly colored shirt. (No flower prints, as the bees like to pollinate me.)
I top this off with a unique fragrance, Deep Woods Off with DEET. This will be my signature scent until the first hard frost. I am counting the days while I scratch my ankles. One trip to the end of the driveway to get the mail and I have 20 mosquito bites.

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